How C-suite moms can change the game with Amelia Gandomi Lewis

For too long, we’ve watched women debate in circles around whether or not they can have it all. But that question doesn’t really matter to the C-suite moms in the thick of it. For those moms—moms who are managing operations and encouraging excellence in boardrooms AND soccer sidelines—there’s no time for debate, there’s only time to do.

Enter: Amelia Gandomi Lewis, an executive leadership coach who helps C-suite moms take a step back and unlock their full potential. In this podcast we go through some of Coach Amelia’s tips for helping women work smarter, not harder.

This podcast is for anyone who:

• Feels like a victim of their own success.
• Gets passed over for promotions.
• Feels like their team is dropping the ball.
• Ends up parenting their staff and managing their children … instead of the other way around.

With plenty of takeaways for anyone who wants to be a better leader, regardless of gender or parental status.

Learn more about Amelia: https://coachamelia.com/emmpower and her master class: https://coach-amelia2025.myflodesk.com/emmpowermasterclass  

And if you’re interested in learning more about the work I do check out https://morganranstrom.com/ and https://trailheadplanners.com 

Thank you for listening!

Visit my website to learn more www.MorganRanstrom.com... or keep up with the latest via social media:

LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and X. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome back to Morgan on Purpose, the podcast. I'm Morgan Randstrom, a wealth advisor, certified financial planner, and the author of Money with Purpose. Today we're talking about something that's close to my heart as someone who works with entrepreneurs every day. I'm thrilled to be joined by Coach Amelia, an executive and leadership coach who specializes in helping ambitious women leaders step into their full potential. Whether you're a seasoned executive considering the next steps in your career, a business owner looking to scale, or someone curious about what it really takes to build something of your own, uh, this conversation is for you. Amelia, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Thank you, Morgan. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Yeah, this is exciting. Thanks for coming on.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Oh, 100%. Wouldn't have missed it.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Yeah, let's dig in. Uh so let's just kind of start from the beginning. So tell us about you uh and your coaching business. Who do you serve? How do you work with them? Uh, and what drew you to this work in the first place?

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Yeah, so I am an executive coach with 17 years of working with senior leaders, founders, and Fortune 500 executives. I didn't start out coaching mothers, but motherhood fundamentally changed how I viewed leadership. And it really exposed how much the invisible responsibility that women carry and how it affects them in every aspect of their life. So now I work specifically with CEO and executive level moms. These are women who are already trusted, already capable, and leading their teams and businesses, but they are feeling that quiet pressure of the one, they are holding it all together. So I help them rebuild their entire leadership system so they are working smarter, not harder. So we focus on reclaiming their time and energy without guilt, creating ownership instead of overfunctioning, and strengthening executive presence and influence. And I do this work because most women, to be honest with you, don't have a time problem. They don't need another productivity hack. They have a systems problem. And the root of it is built from years of being the reliable, capable, emotionally trustworthy one. So my work helps them lead from that clarity and authority instead of exhaustion and habit.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

That sounds like big stuff.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

One thing I should note is that I have actually worked with Coach Amelia. My wife and I were in a group coaching situation with her. And so that's the the connection. So we we have some rapport here as we as we joke around. Uh you mentioned, and she's fantastic, by the way. So so five stars.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Um, you mentioned characteristics that you're seeing, you were seeing time and time again, especially with uh it sounds like executive moms in particular. Can you name some of those for us and help us think through that?

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Yeah, and so I I think it it's it's really important to mention that um the the gender aspect of it of the invisible labor that many women, this is like all women I'm talking about right now, carry this disproportionate share of particular types of labor in most environments. And so then when you come into the corporate structures, or even if they decide to go out and become a business owner or an entrepreneur like many of the people you serve, you you you internalize the sense of like, it's on me, I am the one. So they create these systems of responsibility that completely rely on them, even if they're outsourcing, even if they're delegating, it all comes back to I am the one. And what I realized is that was a system that that became ingrained because of survival. They needed that to be successful, they needed that to receive love and appreciation. But guess what? That's the exact thing that is now a lot of times diminishing your effectiveness as a leader. It's diminishing the empowerment of the people you want to actually grow with you. And it likely is hurting some type of health or relationship in your personal life. So I decided to come in to do something about that because I couldn't bear to see more and more women decide that their solution was just to leave, to just leave their businesses, leave their workplace like it was all too much. And I really wanted to help them, but in a particular way that worked for them. So that I think particularly executive women who are mothers need systems that work for their whole life. They need structures that support them in every aspect. And so it's not enough just to compartmentalize it. We need to look at it holistically and get that time and energy back, find a way to create more ownership and then really lead in a way that creates empowerment.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

I was really struck with um some of the verbiage around delegation. And I think there's this whole like pop consulting podcast, whatever industry that's basically just like delegate, delegate, delegate, which by the way, I suggest too. Um, and what I hear you saying is hey, that that's a you know, industry by men for men, probably. Yeah. Uh and that even when the advice is received, it's not and and implemented, it doesn't go far enough for women because it's not uh you know holistic enough. It doesn't encompass the whole identity of that individual. Is that is that kind of what you're saying there?

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Yes. How do you delegate care and concern? How do you delegate the responsibility you feel for this other person's well-being? And this is not just in the family life, but it's also at work. Um, it's it's also for people's employees. The the owners and the executives I work with feel a kind of responsibility for their employees or their direct reports that is uh is very similar to what women feel in their family life. And men, while they care and they have concern, they often don't have the same sense of this load of responsibility. And and again, I I could be speaking in a lot of generalizations here, but that's just what I found. So in in fact, when people are used to caring more, they need to stop comparing themselves to others who are not. So they need to take a step back and actually look at, all right, I'm not just carrying tactical labor here, I'm carrying emotional labor, but there's often so much connection with it. And I believe my thesis is that it comes down to this feeling of ownership and responsibility. So we have to unpack that. We have to undo that and we have to return it so that we're creating the right amount, not too much or not too little. Like delegate is a lot of times was like abandonment. Well, I don't want to abandon them. It's not about abandoning anybody, but it's about being able to walk with them, grow their capacity for doing something while you're in the appropriate lane.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Yeah. How do you delegate care and concern? I love that. I was I'm writing that down later. That's that's so good. Um I have this personal rule that I don't take life advice uh from men without kids.

unknown 8:03

Right?

SPEAKER_00 8:03

100%. If you're not a parent, what you're saying about your lifestyle or you optimizing this or that, it's it's not relevant to me. It's not going to be helpful. It could be the best advice, it could be the best data supported thing in the world. I just don't listen. I'm out and I and I hear you saying something very similar about what women need and in particular um executive moms. Um I'm gonna pivot for a second. So so you're not just a coaching executives. Uh you were an executive. Uh, you are an entrepreneur. What have you learned about yourself uh throughout this journey? Um what are you most proud of accomplishing? Uh, and then what's also been the most challenging part?

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Yeah, thank you. Um so the first question was what have I learned about myself? Um I've learned that I'm a lot more resilient than I thought I was. Um I think the journey of entrepreneurship really forces you to face your vulnerability, to face your insecurities. And I think it's easy to hide behind certifications, to hide behind titles, to have all these things that build your credibility, but ultimately your credibility is built from within. And so you become your biggest champion and you become your greatest supporter. But that being said, I think that what's what's I'm most proud of is the lives that I've helped to change because of this work. And that's something that if I were to die tomorrow, that would be something that I would never trade for any amount of money in the world because this is life-changing work and not just with people at their jobs, but it affects their families, and that's a generational impact. I think that the hardest part of the journey is really learning the thing that I help other women teach. Like it's hard to learn that you have limits. It can be really hard to know when you've come to your end and you have to get support. You have to find a way to say, I am not in charge of all this. I have to allow others to take on. And it can't be me. And that's when the real leadership maturity begins.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Yeah, you can see, like, once again, you can't delegate care and concern, but the care and the concern is the superpower.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Right. But at some point there's a limit to that.

unknown 10:49

Right?

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Yeah. Like when does that kind of time out, so to speak? And how do we handle that when we hit that brink? Um so when you're working with with women leaders, what challenges do you see them facing? And you've already named some of these, but what specific challenges do you see them facing? What what patterns are you noticing? Um, and then where do you see your clients getting stuck?

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Yeah, I would say the first and foremost, and it's amazing because you would you would meet certain women you'd never think that they wake up every day with like soul-crushing anxiety, or they second guess almost every single thing that comes out of their mouth. These are women who have been very practiced and they're able to perform the work of leadership. They're able to perform what it looks like to be a good business owner, a good mom. But inside of them, there's this very different narrative going on. And what I want for them is not to feel like their work in life is a performance, but for it to come from a really authentic place, from a grounded place. So often that comes from having a strong and resilient nervous system. And that comes down to how do we deal with our nervous system on a day-to-day basis? How do you manage those hijacks of your brain that come up in the heat of the moment? So I teach mental fitness tools, I practice it myself, I guide them through their own journey of conquering, like what we call a saboteur, something that comes in as like a default way of being that is not helpful. But oftentimes that saboteur has helped us become successful. Um, a controlling uh saboteur will often make us feel like we're in charge of our life and we can make things happen. And there's a lot of strength to those proactive tendencies, but when it goes too far, and I think that I see that in a lot of the women I work with, is they're like, I can't let go of the control, but that's the thing that they need to do so that they can lead in a different way. So you're not just delegating with control, but you're using influence. You're not just delegating with a checklist and um a get it done, but you're coming back with, hey, this is I'm invested in your growth. And this is how I want to see you grow, and you tell me what that looks like, and we come to some kind of feeling together about that, an agreement together about what that means.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

I should know that this mental fitness stuff that you're talking about. This was the group coaching that I was a part of. Um, and when my wife and I did that, that was easily, you know, top three most impactful, you know, I don't know, things we had done in our marriage to improve the communication in our marriage. I always thought we had good communication prior to that. We had great communication afterwards. And so working through those saboteurs, doing that mental fitness, it was so impactful to just my relationship. Um and that was just at home, right? Like not even speaking to like the professional uh awareness and let's say confidence that that gave me, or just skills and resilience that you speak about. So um I love hearing you talk about that. Um, the continuity of that work in in your present circumstances.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Definitely, definitely. That work is foundational to to to everything because we we have to start here. This is what we have. And when that is strong and resilient, then we can build the right structures and frameworks and all the models that help us lead, but inside, like this is where it begins. And so we can't um start from out and go in. We got to start in and go out.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

So for those who don't know, uh, could you just help us understand what you mean by mental fitness and what that entails?

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Absolutely. So I am a positive intelligence coach, and I use a system that's based on the work of Shirzad Shamin, and it helps us understand the default patterns of our brain that are getting in our way of better health, better happiness, better results at work. And so these saboteurs that I mentioned and these different practices and fitness tools are something that anybody who is a PQ coach can uh deliver to you. I use it specifically in my work with CEO and executive moms. But when I was just getting started, I was holding multiple pods and groups just specifically around that work. And um, if you're interested in that type of work, I have pods that are based on demand. So feel free to reach out to me if that's something that's interesting to you.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Yeah, love that. Um so let's say there's one of your clients is stepping into a new role as a leader uh in corporate life, in business life, whatever that is. Um what advice do you give her? What do you wish more women knew as they they stepped into that role?

SPEAKER_01 16:10

I think there's a difference in the two avenues. So one is if you're stepping into a new role in your job, um you need to get the right kind of mentorship and support that helps you lead at the level that you're at. So I see this in a lot of transitions in the corporate landscape where people are, well, I was a senior manager, now I'm a director, now I'm a director, and I'm going to senior director, and now I'm VP, and then I want to get to senior vice president. So all these leadership transitions have a particular pain point to them and a skill that needs to be learned. So can you get the kind of skills that you need from the people around you? If not, I oh, I mean, I'm biased because I'm an executive coach, but getting the right coach for you at the right time can help you not feel like you have to wake up every day with anxiety and oh, imposter syndrome and I don't belong here. And am I really good enough to be in this in this position? Yes, obviously you are good enough to be in this position. You're gonna go through um a learning curve. And it really helps if you have a guide that can help you along those journeys of newness. And it's the same thing when business leaders are growing. For example, I had a client who she hired me when she went from like three contractors to like five full-time employees. And she was like, I really have to be a leader now. How do I do that? Can I do that? Am I the right person to do that? And and and and I quickly helped her within even two sessions get that confidence so she could stand up in front of her team and say, This is this, my company, these are the values that we're leading with, and this is how we're gonna execute on our goals while preserving what this company is based on. And and I'm I'm really honored to guide leaders and business owners in that journey and finding the right support and mentorship can be a game changer. And I also would recommend get it before there's a problem. A lot of times people will wait until things are blowing up and there's an issue and they're like, oh, I need some help. If you can get it proactively, you can prevent a lot of difficulties going down the road. But if you're in a difficulty right now, if there's you're like, oh man, now it's too late. No, it's never too late. Um, it to get the right support.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Yeah, I love that. Um, and and the support element is so important. I also think there's this myth that uh it all starts with confidence, right? But but confidence comes along the journey, right? It's like we kind of earn confidence along the way. Um, and and I go back to like the Seth Godin concept of like imposter syndrome. And he's like, Yeah, but we all are imposters. Anytime you step into something new, like you are naturally an imposter in that space. Yeah. Um, but but guess what? So was everybody else on their first day. Yes, right. And so it's like you just you you kind of commit to it, you step into it, and the confidence will come as you just start doing it and living it and learning and all that stuff. Um and so it's it's kind of like this doesn't stop us, we accept it. And this is what I'm hearing in what you're saying, Amelia. Um, and we we move forward, right? It's just like it's getting out of bed and getting those first two steps out of the way, you know?

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah, yeah. And then and then being able to, when you encounter a new scenario, going to whether it's a mentor or a coach and saying, here's what's happening. How did you deal with this? Or when you saw their leaders in this situation, what what worked well for them and what didn't? And then one of my clients told me recently that they had worked with coaches that were coaching in a like a large outsourced coaching platform. And she was getting like generic advice, but she wanted to work with them because it was free. Work was like providing these coaches and like, okay, I should take advantage of them. And she like met with one of them five times, and then we met once, and she was like, I got more out of that one hour with you than I did with these five other people because you actually tailor the advice to my leadership style, to my personality, to my lived experience. And that's what I really want to put out there for people who are thinking about coaching, getting someone who knows how to allow you to be that most true and authentic version of yourself, not giving a generic, distilled answer will be incredible, like invaluable use of your time and money.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

What stood out to me in that story was uh that it took her five sessions to confidently say this isn't giving me value, right? Because I'm guessing there was a lot of what's wrong with me, right? Or I should do this because my employer wants me to, or or whatever it is, until she kind of just shut the door and said, Well, I'm gonna give, you know, a try to someone who I think really understands me and my situation and the specifics of it. But it took five sessions to go there.

unknown 21:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Kind of speaks to everything you've been saying. Yeah. So so here's a scenario I imagine you encounter a lot. Um one of your clients. Is on the fence about starting a business, or she's a successful executive, she's proven she can lead, she wants to run the show, but she's also a mom with a with a family. Um, and and the stakes feel really, really high. What do you tell her? Uh, how does she start on the right foot? Um, and then you kind of talked about coaching, uh, but what what what support team is in place and what community is in place to help her?

SPEAKER_01 22:26

So, first and foremost, I would say that you don't need to romanticize entrepreneurship. Um, it does not give you freedom by default and it gives you all the responsibility. So it has to be designed really well. And I think you really have to ask yourself why now? Okay, why is this the right move for me now? What season of life am I in? And what kind of business can I actually build that supports that season? And from that place of clarity and that understanding why, then the kind of business you build, the support you decide to have around you will be everything. So making sure that you lead from a CEO from like a CEO, lead like a CEO from day one. Even if you are the CEO, the CFO, the janitor, the everything. Start thinking of yourself and building the standard operating procedures, building out the support that you need and testing it before you even go about hiring any single person. Make sure that you will have people that are ready to pay you for what it is, the service you're selling or the product you have. Um, I think we can get very in love with creating. I'm a creative person. I'll sit and like work with some content for like a really long time. And then it where did it even go? I don't even know. Um, it's so important to have the right mentors and advisors who can help you do the things like sales and marketing that maybe you didn't go to school to do and it hasn't been your corporate career or 20, 30, however long you've been. But make sure you get people who are skilled in that area. And especially when you haven't necessarily done some of these things that entrepreneurship requires. So that getting the right support ecosystem, learning from people who have done it, and making sure that that this move is going to support your whole life. Otherwise, there's there's too many stories of burnout and like lost opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Yeah, it kind of goes, I love how you frame the freedom of it, right? But because the freedom comes with a lot of responsibility. Um and and I always go to well, what problem are you actually trying to fix? Right. And unless you really get into that, why, what am I hoping to accomplish with this? Uh, you might just be grasping onto something that creates more problems, creates more complexity, um, as opposed to kind of resolving uh maybe some sort of work-life balance or frustration around salary, whatever it is, right? Um you have to be really clear. And if you can be clear before making a big move, all the better.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Right. It doesn't mean you shouldn't do it just because there's all these unknowns, but that you feel the clarity you need is within yourself that this is right for right now. And that is something that's invaluable. That because you will need that will be tested many times as you go on that journey.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Absolutely. Uh, Coach Amelia, where can people follow your work? Where can they follow find you online?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Um, yes, you can find me um on LinkedIn. My website is coachemilia.com. You can find me on Instagram at coach Amelia. And I love to connect with you. I have a pre-recorded masterclass where I break down the framework of how I help executive moms reclaim their time and their energy and lead with this new kind of power that I talked about. By just uh clicking the link, I can send it. Uh, you can receive that directly to your inbox if you're curious about how I actually help executive moms with these aspects of their journey.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

That sounds lovely. And we'll we'll share that in the notes. Um, so thanks for coming on. Uh, that's a wrap on this episode. Um, thanks for being here, Amelia. Uh, and for the rest of you, be sure to subscribe to make sure you don't miss anything. Uh, and you can check out the episode description to find out more about Coach Amelia uh and connect with her work.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

Thanks, Coach.